A Content Heart

I am learning so much in life..

I am learing how to really love myself which makes me become a better mommy!

<3


Things may not be "perfect" but I know I am on this path for a reason and I am such a strong person.Ive NEVER give up on life and I won't give up anytime soon.


Things are looking up for me job wise.I have some exciting things coming my way!!!


God is good!

A good weekend

Friday Payten and I spent the evening with my husbands sister and her family.the kids all played together and had fun.

Saturday I made bbq beef sandwich,fries and red velvet cake for my husbands brother and his family.the kids had fun playing,P,learning to share is a work in process.

around 4am I woke up feeling like I had to throw up and sure enough I did. I don't know what caused it,but it sure wore me out

I start work again Monday.i'm alittle nervous about just.having to be out and about.

Not sleeping for 3days is very stressful on the body.

Last night was a bad night.

Hopefully with rest this week will be better.

Heading back to work Monday,hopefully this is the right move to do.

I'll write more later

Still keepin a smile

*just relaxing in bed while P is  watching a dvd.

Yesterday,today

Yesterday drove around 70miles one way to get my lupron shot. only one more to go! Next one will be paid for in full,thanks to the drug rep company.

afterwards stopped at Wendys to have a bite.
I'll attach a photo of P and I enjoying our treat.

Today~Had bloodwork done on allot of levels along with thyroid check.

Husband truck isn't running right...or at all I should say.
I hope he can get his truck fixed soon. He's been using our car(which is great on gas) but still need his truck running so I can have transportation when needed.
My poor husband has taken on so much,he's a strong man and I'm lucky to have him stand beside me,sometimes behind me to catch  when I

my moods~This journal is all about honesty,Soooo Today I've had a panic attack and felt on edge. I'm not really sure what all the stressor were,maybe even going out in public by myself or having to drive in the fog for my fasting lab work.
the smaller things can really be overwhelming.
But I've survived the day so far and I'll get through it with the help of my family/friends.

Coping skill~ one way my husband and I have improved are relationship is I write each nite in a journal and he reads it in the  morning, it works for us because I don't do well at verbally expressing my feelings. :)

Supper~
Tonight i'm making a Mexican
Hashbrown taco casserole.
If it turns out good,I will post the recipe.

Its in the oven now
Lil P is asleep in her daddies arms.

Baby steps

Today was my first therapist appointment. It went well. talked about allot of basic stuff,such as what's gone on in my life from childhood to now.
My therapist said her goal is for me to be an expert at my illness and feelings,to know when I start to get a bit of a low feeling or a high feeling so I can tell before I get into a deep slope.
Tomorrow I have my next lupron shot.that was an answer to prayer,insurance company wanted 225.00 up front before they ship it out,no way could I afford it right now. Doctor office called and said a drug rep had dropped off a sample of Lupron shot and the nurse stated "it has your name on it."
I was thrilled to hear that,now I only have Feb to worry about,then I'll be done with the shots.
The doctor really wants me to have these 3rounds of lupron since my endometriosis was very severe. Hopefully with surgery and lupron my left tube will slightly open along witg after this lupron we will have to do a HSG dye test for my tubes to recheck.
My pain is improving,but my incision on my belly button isn't.i'm going to have the nurse check it out,its very red and not closing,small hole still there.
P is doing well,counting to almost 20 by herself.
She loves to color.I was worried about her speach,but she's actually putting and forming her words better so i'm not so concerned.
Just can't believe she'll be 3 soon! I plan to have a small gathering at the house with a Mexican theme/food since she's born on May 5th(shares it with her Auntie,too)
will update more tomorrow!